SLC-S24/W2 - Powerful Debate | Love vs Capability

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Hello everyone!

In Tunisia, there's a popular proverb that my grandmother often repeated to me:

"Water doesn't quench thirst, but a marriage without love leaves regrets."

I never really understood the depth of this phrase... until today.

It was a winter afternoon in Tunis, my colleague and long-time friend, let's call him Sami, invited me for coffee in a quiet alley in Lafayette. Nothing unusual, it was only when I saw him put down his cup and stare at me for a long time that I realized something was eating away at him.

"You know, everyone thinks I'm living the dream... House in Soukra, two children who excel at school, a cultured and respected wife... But I'm living a void."

"I'm in a perfect marriage on the outside, but cold and silent on the inside."

I stood there frozen. Sami was, for me, as for many others, the epitome of family success, always punctual, attentive, and kind to his wife in public, together at social events, smiling for photos, and complicit in discussions, and yet...

In Sami's case, the marriage rested on three solid pillars: mutual respect, loyalty, and understanding. But a fourth pillar was sorely missing: love.

He told me something that deeply affected me:

"She's never done anything wrong. She's a good mother. A loyal partner. But I don't feel anything anymore. It's become a social contract. A peaceful cohabitation. Is that enough to call it a successful marriage? Perhaps in the eyes of the world. But not in the heart."

In our Tunisian culture, many marriages were built on foundations other than love. Some have lasted. Others have fallen apart, but the big difference lies in the quality of inner life.

Love is the invisible fuel that gives meaning to routine, it's the fire that warms winter evenings, the spontaneous smile in a simple gesture, the hand extended without the need for words, when love disappears, everything becomes mechanical.

Without love, a marriage can function like a well-oiled machine, but at what emotional cost?

Sami told me that even his children, now teenagers, are beginning to feel this coldness. Although there has never been a violent argument or shouting, the absence of warmth, tenderness, and affection has become evident.

"We act, we smile, we do what needs to be done. But I feel alone in my own bed."

This type of facade, so prevalent in our country, is difficult to break. Social pressure, family expectations, the fear of shattering the image others have of us—all of this pushes couples to continue playing a role. In Tunis, Sfax, and Nabeul, we see these exemplary couples... but how many still truly love each other?

I asked Sami: "Why don't you leave?" He replied:

"Because peace also has value. I prefer this quiet emptiness to emotional chaos."

That got me thinking, peace is reassuring, it's stability, security, the comfort of what's known. But passion is alive. It's uncertain, overwhelming, but true.

So, what should we choose? For some, peace takes precedence. For others, living without love is not living at all.

Personally, I think true courage lies in emotional honesty. It's not necessarily about leaving everything behind, but about recognizing the emptiness, naming it, trying to fill it if possible, or freeing ourselves if it's irreversible.

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Through your entry, move into that emotional space and show us: Is love essential to keeping a relationship healthy, or can loyalty and understanding hold a relationship for a lifetime?

There are truths that are only revealed through the silence, in the unsaid things of everyday life, in those fleeting glances, in those gestures accomplished out of habit more than out of the impulse of the heart, in my eyes, love is much more than a sentimental luxury: it is the very pulsation that keeps the emotional body of the couple alive, without it, everything becomes functional, correct, polite... but profoundly empty.

A relationship can certainly survive on the solid foundations of loyalty and mutual understanding, but it will then be a quiet and resigned survival, not a fulfilled and vibrant life together, because what nourishes the soul in a union is not only responsible actions or shared projects, but this inner warmth, sometimes discreet, but always alive, that is true love.

What are your thoughts about being seen as the "perfect couple" for outsiders but truly having no feelings for each other and having a huge emotional distance?

Being perceived as a model couple while sharing an immense emotional distance is, in a way, like playing a daily play whose backstage is cold, this dissonance between the image projected outwards and the reality experienced inside can become a subtle form of psychological violence, not because there would be shouting or conflicts, but because the heart, deprived of authenticity, slowly withers away.

It is extremely painful to feel alone while being accompanied, to be applauded for a facade when you suffer in the shadow of an emotional void that no one suspects, this apparent perfection then becomes a golden prison, a cage of smiles and conveniences from which it is difficult to escape without breaking the illusion that others cherish.

Is it wiser to hold on to peace or to chase what sets the heart on fire?

As for the dilemma between the comfortable peace of a smooth everyday life and the uncertain quest for a sincere passion, it cannot find a universal answer, because it touches the deepest intimacy of each person, however, I believe that if the peace is sweet, it can become an anesthesia of the soul when it is devoid of love and if the passion is sometimes destabilizing, it has the merit of being authentic, of awakening in us a force of life that routine puts to sleep.

True courage, in my opinion, is not to choose one or the other blindly, but to have the honesty to listen to what, in us, calls for change, for emotional truth, even if this is disturbing, even if it forces us to rebuild on the ruins of an empty comfort, because deep down, a storm in which we feel alive is better than a blue sky under which we are slowly dying.

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Thank you very much for reading, it's time to invite my friends @sualeha, @drhira, @shiftitamanna to participate in this contest.

Best Regards,
@kouba01