"SLC-S24/W2 - Powerful Debate | Love vs Capability".

I can envision a day when I will promise to somebody, a day when I will live for us and not for me alone, a day when I will share this life with a woman who is mine, an African butterfly(romantic name). When it is our time to exchange our vows in our wedding, I will ask myself; did I truly make the right decision? Will we be happy and live in harmony for the rest of our days?

I heard that this day people has tried to change the vow from I will spent the rest of my with you or till death do us apart to as long as we love ourselves. This mean if eventually there's a misunderstanding, it likely that the marriage will break apart. This makes me wondering why high alarming rate of divorce. When I look back at my parents and their days, couples lives happily, they respect each and and this keep them bonding for their life time but today the story is different.

Let us discuss the subject of this contest.

Can a marriage succeed without love, even if both partners are compatible and have great mutual understanding?

The answer is No it cannot survive. Unless if it just a mutual friendship, there can be a good relationship without love. Both individuals can be very nice. But in couples term it's No. I saw a Nollywood film in which a couple held the best wedding in town. But a week later, they opened their marriage. This is an arrangement where they can indulge in anything and remain married... do what you like. While sitting to watch this movie, I wondered, how did they meet one another? Was somebody forcing them to get married to one another? Did they even love each other in the first place? How is it possible to marry someone you profess to love and then no longer love anymore?

Aren't people brought closer to one another by love and are able to get to know each other? How do we called the strong feeling in someone mind about another person (opposite sex)? If there's no love forget it there's no way the marriage can survive. I am sure that it would not work without love this and will definitely result in divorce.

Is love essential to keeping a relationship healthy, or can loyalty and understanding hold a relationship for a lifetime?

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This 3 quality is also the forefront role in a marriage if any of them is missing there will be issues. Love is also required because they will view themselves as two imperfect individuals coming to build a better home. When there's love, understanding and loyalty, such form of marriage will be certainly last. Understanding and loyalty will make them realize that they will never try to each other disappoint or do anything to make the partner have a negative feeling.
Example:

• Love is telling your partner: you're the only one I want and I will be with you forever.
• Loyalty play it own term like; I don't need to monitor you or check your chat and conversation.
• Understanding : we all make mistakes at one one point in time, common dear this is not the end of the world.
• Trust joined the game as: I know you didn't because I believe in you.

What are your thoughts about being seen as the "perfect couple" for outsiders but truly having no feelings for each other and having a huge emotional distance?

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To be honest there is nothing in there, there is no love in it. And let me make it clear there is nothing such a perfect partner or perfect marriage. I have heard a number of times where someone will be praying for perfect partner. They will be like..."God please give me a good man.....God please give me a good wife." For real? No it does not exit. What build a good home is trust, understanding and loyalty. Some people will try to behave good when they are in public but when they go to back to home, they are cat and rat, violence and fight. How long would they have to put on a show? Maybe I have a little solution; if they'll like to fix their marriage it would be a good idea to go to see the marriage counselor.

Is it wiser to hold on to peace or to chase what sets the heart on fire?

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Religion teaches a man or a woman to terminate a marriage if:

• The other person cheats on their partner with her
• The individual refused to take care of the family

But somewhere it is mentioned that the individual should never remarry. If he or she wants to marry even then he or she can settle with his or her companion. But today I guess it's different. From my perspective law was meant to protect married people from sending their companion away without any cause.

On a second thought however, if violence is present in marriage then the other spouse would want to remain (some of them die due to it because they explain their life will be worth nothing if they move out). Recently I had a customer who recently arrived in the market with a swollen face. When we attempted to inquire why she has a swollen face he explained she was involved in an accident but in a matter of days we discovered she was beaten by her husband. What a pity. Judging from her actions she held it in, she didn't open up to anybody, she is in fear of what might occur.

But which one is preferable? to be alive or to be frustrated on a daily basis, to be less valued, to be emotional and to ultimately lose life. Some would rather cling to peace in the hopes of a possible change in the future while other people would rather be away from abuse or to be able to do what chase the heart on fire a fire in the heart. It is all about a personal decision.

In short, a happy family or marriage is based on a foundation of real love, trust, and forgiveness. There is never a good or perfect partner but if people know they are flawed then they will be likely to make mistakes they will be able to accept one another and that is where love steps in.

I would like to invite @joymm @josepha @enomzy001 to take part in this contest

Cc;
@vishwara