 |
|---|
In life, no one can ever tell what's going on in another person's house or mind if you are not told. I remember a colleague at my work place, to whom I would say "God when?" when I see how well he speaks and carries his wife. For those who are not from Nigeria, the "God when?" statement is more of me asking when will it be me in such a marriage.
To my biggest surprise, a certain day came and we were at the office talking about marriage, me being the only single person there, I was like I envy you all, and I can't wait for my own. It was there and then that he opened up that he cannot bear it anymore.
To me, these were couples, living a life that everyone else and myself envied, as they were always seen as one, a team, an inseparable one at that. Couples who shared everything in my view, from every morning, every bill, every dream. I see them as people who have built a life together, raising a family, and making plans. Which I believe you also would agree with me that this is considered a perfect marriage, a smooth, effortless journey.
Well, to myself and the rest in the office, it was a picture of perfection, as no one heard of any fights, but just a home filled with loyalty and understanding. At least so we thought, that they were the ideal couple everyone would want to be.
Until that very day, he couldn't hold it any longer but voiced out that behind the closed doors of their perfect life, something was terribly wrong. That the intense, passionate love that once burned so brightly had slowly dimmed, leaving only a faint glow. Like it was gone, vanished, even without a goodbye, and in its place now were just polite conversations and a shared desire to avoid any conflict.
That their initial peaceful nights were gone, and now they would just feel the weight of the distance between them. Leading to a deep, unexplainable sadness creeping into their minds. Yet in all these, when people praise their strong bond, they would rather just smile, than correct, so not to shatter the perfect picture.
He couldn't help it any longer than share the painful reality of their situation and how their life was full of the things they had built together, but their hearts were empty, longing for something that was lost long ago. So now, they just live more like roommates, living a lie, a beautiful facade that hid a deep, unspoken sorrow.
It was at this moment I realised he wouldn't always go home straight after work, but rather go somewhere else till dusk.
Through your entry, move into that emotional space and show us: Is love essential to keeping a relationship healthy, or can loyalty and understanding hold a relationship for a lifetime? |
|---|
Here are my thoughts about it all. Love, loyalty, and understanding are all indeed important for a relationship, but then each of them brings something different to the relationship.
For instance, love as the spark of any relationship, it is the fireworks, the "I can't get enough of you" feeling. Love is what we know as the butterflies in our stomach, the reason we want to spend every second together with the next person, and it is also the reason we miss them when they're not around us or gone. Therefore, Love is the foundation that gets everything started.
 |
|---|
Loyalty on the other hand, is like the bedrock of every relationship, as it is about sticking together through thick and thin. Loyalty is all about knowing that no matter what life throws our way, we've got each other's backs, and it is the promise to be there, even when things get tough, creating a sense of safety and security.
Lastly, understanding acts as the bridge between love and loyalty, as it is about truly seeing our partners, knowing their quirks, their dreams, their fears, and accepting them for who they are. Understanding however is about being patient, listening to, and trying to walk in our partner's shoes. This is what will help us to navigate disagreements and build a deep connection.
Now back to the question, can a relationship survive without love? Please tell me what's a relationship again? A relationship is said to be the connection between two or more people which is based on feelings like love, trust, or respect. To this aspect, I can say a relationship can survive without love then, as long as there is trust and respect, but then it might feel like an empty relationship, like the one we have with our customers-trader relationship at the market or teacher-student relationship in school. A relationship without love might just be like living in a house that's structurally sound but lacks warmth and joy. We could have loyalty and understanding, but without love, we might find ourselves just going through the motions.
Then again, can a relationship survive on love alone? I don't think so, just like I have explained earlier, relationships are built on Love, Loyalty and Understanding. As much as Love can be the blinding, without loyalty and understanding, the cracks will eventually show. Therefore, we need the three of them together to weather the storms.
In conclusion, a healthy, long-lasting relationship must have all three, the spark of love, the unwavering loyalty, and the deep understanding, as they feed off each other and create the bond to truly last a lifetime, with loyalty and understanding being the glue that holds everything together, even when the initial sparks of love fades.
What are your thoughts about being seen as the "perfect couple" for outsiders but truly having no feelings for each other and having a huge emotional distance? |
|---|
I think this whole "perfect couple" thing, is like a movie set, all shiny and pretty on the outside, with it being a completely different story but behind the scenes, like we see in movie making.
 |
|---|
Imagine two people putting on a show, smiling, holding hands, and saying all the right things, to which everyone else would agree that they are the dream team, the ultimate couple goals. But then behind closed doors, they are practically strangers, with a giant emotional wall between them, living separate lives under the same roof, just going through the motions.
So then, why would anyone do this? I guess sometimes it's about keeping up appearances. Maybe they are worried about what other people will think of them, or still they don't want to disappoint their families. It could be worse as maybe they are afraid of being alone or dealing with the messiness of a breakup. Then again, sometimes it could be about the children, religion, money, social status, or just the fear of change.
The problem is, it is all a lonely existence. Just like being in a play where you don't connect with your partner. you are just there acting, pretending, and never truly yourself. In such a situation, there is no real intimacy, no vulnerability, and no connection in the deeper sense, but just going through the motions which can be incredibly draining.
Therefore, over time this emotional distance may bring about the feeling of being trapped, resentful, and deeply unhappy, with the lack of genuine affection and support leaving the couples feeling isolated and alone, even though they are in a relationship. Hence, while the outside world might see perfection, the reality is often quite different, with it being just a hollow victory, a life lived behind a mask. So I ask honestly, is that really a life worth living?
Is it wiser to hold on to peace or to chase what sets the heart on fire? |
|---|
 |
|---|
Holding onto peace is all about finding a sense of tranquility and stability in our lives. It is about avoiding drama, stress, and anything that can rock our boats, and the comfort of the familiar, the security of knowing what to expect.
Chasing what sets our hearts on fire, on the other hand, is about embracing the flames, i.e., pursuing our dreams, our passions, and the things that make us feel truly alive, which may involve taking risks, stepping outside our comfort zone, and embracing the unknown.
So, which is wiser? Honestly for me, I don't have a right or wrong answer to give. This is because it all depends on us, our personality, what we value most in life and the situation we find ourselves. I know people who thrive on peace and stability, and also those who need the spark of passion to feel fulfilled.
Sometimes, it is not an either/or situation, i.e., there are times when we would rather go with peace than chase the heart fire and vice versa. So I guess it is better if we can find a balance. That is, we can find ways to chase our passions while still maintaining a sense of inner peace.
I want to take this opportunity to invite @ngoenyi, @ruthjoe and @starrchris.
Thank You for your Time
NOTE: Always have a smile on your face, as you are never fully dressed without one.
Sinceramente, es una participación brillante con mucha sabiduría y profundidad.
Es poco lo que puedo comentar porque estoy de acuerdo con tus argumentos.
La forma en que describes, te preguntas y respondes no deja dudas de lo complejo que son las relaciones humanas. Los matices de cada pareja lo sabrán ellos mismos pero lo universal lo planteas de manera sublime y respetuosa.
Te deseo lo mejor. Fue un grato placer leerte. Saludos!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Congratulations!
Your post has been upvoted by ladies universe community. The community where the Steemian ladies can be free to express themselves, be creative, learn from each other, and give support to their fellow lady Steemians.
Manually curated by @alexanderpeace for ladies Universe
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit