Lately, I have been increasingly experienced the feeling of wanting to just crawl into a hole and hide, perhaps the result of feeling like there is just more and more stuff clamoring for my attention, coming at me from every direction.
And, of course, there is just little 'ol me to deal with aforesaid stuff.
When such a move overtakes me my tendency has always been to back away from being actively engaged. In a sense, I'm a little bit like a bear who likes to hibernate.
My mother was an extreme extrovert and social butterfly and she was always worried about me as a kid and eternally trying to get me involved in all kinds of different things. I suppose the thing she never really understood was the fact that for me doing nothing was in fact a good thing, while constantly being on the go was a recipe for me to shut down.
Occasionally, I have entertained the possibility that maybe I was just wired incorrectly from nature's side because what feels best to me tends to be to be stationary in a more or less detached state.
In truth, however, there are likely many different things that are contributing to my current desire to crawl into a hole.
Bit by bit, there's nothing here that I couldn't get done and out of the way.. on an individual basis. The problem, as per usual is time. I don't have the time needed to do the work to get everything off my plate by a bunch of deadlines...
And this whole year seems to be file-able under the heading of "oh... and one more thing."
Like spending $2,000 (I didn't have) on car repair, only to learn — about three weeks later — the the original car repair wasn't done correctly, and now it will be another $900 to put things to rights.
And it's also tax filing time. Not only will I have to file an extension for this year's taxes; I had no choice but to file of a "payment plan" for some remaining taxes owed from last year because the tax money (which I didn't have, in the first place) instead had to be spent on car repair.
Not to mention the fact that the water heater is leaking and definitely on its last legs. It has been a bit dodgy for a while.
It feels like just taking a few steps out of the house comes with a $1,500 "bill" most of the time. I have no idea how people can even afford any of all this stuff.
Meanwhile, I'm out $600+ to have the septic tank pumped out.
Almost feels like there's some sort of conspiracy in the universe to make sure that all these things are happening all at once, instead of spread out!
Of course, that's not actually true... but sometimes randomness can come off feeling like it is a pattern.
And so, I tell myself that I can only take one step at a time...
Onwards!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great weekend!
How about you? Do you ever feel like everything is happing faster than your ability to deal with it? What do you do when that happens? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 2025.04.12 00:43 PDT
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