Chasing a cure... is all of this worth it? PTSD from a Soldiers perspective

in life •  8 years ago 


Steemians, as I'm sure most of you have heard the word ptsd or you have it or may know someone that has it.. lets chat..

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder


First off good afternoon, if your reviewing this right after I posted it. Secondly though I'm typing this up I'll probably be attaching a video to it as well. Third before I start I want to thank you for taking time to check out my content I do appreciate it and I'm not just saying that. Lets get started.
 
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If you know me at all or if you follow me you are probably aware that I typically speak on being a father or I'm usually posting some goofy stuff my kids and I are doing. This time I'm speaking on ptsd from combat related issues during deployment, if you have an issue with soldiers, military operations, ptsd, talk on ptsd please refrain from disrespectful comments, I respect freedom of speech but I can't respect someone being an asshole. Anyway during my deployment deployment to Afghanistan in 2007-2008 I was on a mission with my team which at the time was a 4 man team typically the military prefers that their be 3 soldiers to one enemy soldier however in special operations and the spec ops community any of you that have served probably know thats just not possible, our job was intelligence, high value target, quick response force in high threat areas of operation, search and seize, pathfinder operations, raids, and several different types of recon.
The mission we were on was suppose to be pretty simple. The mission was to gather Intel and confirm an enemy sniper training camp near the border so we dropped in quite a few miles away, in whats called the point of no return zone, this means that no matter what you can't turn around to ex-fil out of the area.

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Ugh. Been in the field training the last 3 weeks. I'm tired. (This picture is called What The Actual Fuck, you can probably see why)


Situations can cause long term effects on the brain


The title above will make sense shortly, to continue upon movement of my team and I we noticed several XOs and i.e.ds all over and the country is literally littered with XOs (explosives) and ieds(improvised explosion device) from the conflict that occurred with Russia during Dec 25, 1979 – Feb 15, 1989 this was the Soviet Afghan war, during this conflict by what I've seen and have been told Russia literally dropped thousands of XOs all over the country and a lot of the Afghan fighters (some soldiers and some extremist) would and still do plant ieds so this causes the country to be similar to a big bomb (in my opinion) you literally have to watch everywhere you walk, infact several children I had seen were missing limbs because of this (war supporter or not children don't deserve this) quite a few soldiers and native Afghans were also losing their lives and limbs over these explosives. This brings me to my own situation, during the mission we were on we were given instructions on how command wanted us to leave and it was in such a way to where we could limit danger, attacks, causalities and most importantly being exposed in these types of jobs you can't be seen or it will blow the whole operation. On our way out the actual mission was completed with great results we had done a great job my team leader said he was so proud of us, I was the new member of the team but by the time this mission had came up I had done proved myself and I had even received a promotion from E-3 to E-4 shortly after I went from Specialist to Corp(US Army rank structure) in short I trusted these 3 guys and they trusted me they were like big brothers to me, and my best friends they had taught me some awesome stuff, and most importantly we all cared about each other and each others families, in fact they were my family. As we were leaving the area of operation we had made it back to the exfil spot, upon arrival we would be greeted by an Infantry Company (we call the 11 Bravos the ground pounders, no matter what you feel for the army the 11 Bravos make shit happen and for the record I was one of them as well hence the reason for having the same identifier) we were suppose to attach on to the Infantry unit and leave with them we had hopped into a Humvee and we were on our way back to our FOB (base/post) due to the high level of anti aerial weapons in the area it was better to move on land the command felt. Thats when the last 7 Humvee started getting hit by gun fire (my Humvee literally looked like shredded cheese) on the left side as we got hit the 2 50 Caliber equipped Humvee started letting loose, as the TC (Tactical Commander) saw the type of threat we were against he decided to pull off to the right so we could engage. As we pulled off to the right of the area we were driving in I remember seeing a man in a turbine he was no more than 15 feet away from us but he was unarmed I called it out but it turned out he was Armed he had a dedinator it had looked like a garage door opener, he had set off an ied. The initial ied he had set off wasn't much but the large XOs next to it were big it caused our Humvees to flip, and this had caused additional ieds or XO ( not sure) to go off, his ied turned out to be a massive grave maker... the R.T.O on my team was the first one to go (radio telephone operator) he had took shrapnel in his neck, even though the military says eliminate the threat first before providing first aid (this makes sense to prevent additional causalities) I knew this was not only common sense and an Army S.O.P but I also saw what happened and everyone was in a daze, i moved over and held his hand he just winked at me and I'll stop with the graphics here but he had passed away. I then started hearing gun fire and that told me extremest were coming our way, I didn't hear any of our weapons going off at first but my head did have a buzzing sound, I grabbed an M 4 and got out of the Humvee and rotated behind it thats where a few infantry guys were I didn't see my TL or SSO(team leader and Senior Scout Observer) but after a few minutes I saw the TL he smiled at the sight of me, he I believe was scared his whole team was gone (I'm not sure if thats a fact or not I didn't get to ask him) he came over to me and he told me we needed to get the saw (Squad automatic weapon) out, so we could lay down cover fire at least to hold our position until the rest of the Infantry company arrived, we didn't know just how many attackers were there because this was a part of the desert that lifted in to mountains and large scale hills there were so many holes and boulders and it looked like people were just coming from out of no where. Upon hearing my TL say grab S.A.W I waited and once these guys provided cover fire I got over to the Humvee that had the SAW in it and thats where I found SSO he was pinned in the Humvee, and he knew we were in some crazy shit because the man Ill never forget this he had a grenade in one hand and an M-9 in the other hand,he said identify so I did and he yelled GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE SO WE CAN BRING THE PAIN, I always knew that he would still have some humor even when shit was fucked up, so I helped him get out of the window which i didn't understand the little window didn't shatter but yet the Humvee had holes in it from ak 47 fire.. ( Please explain this to me??) as he got out he had said Your face are you okay? I didn't understand him I told him we needed the SAW and he pulled it out and thats when I can hear in my head piece (my team didn't wear helmets we wore brown baseball caps with ir tape on them this was so we could wear our com ear pieces and night vision easier and with less weight) Team leader was yelling get the G*D Damn SAW OVER HERE.. the S.S.O didn't have his head piece on I assume that it came off during the flip over I yelled out what the TL said and thats when the S.S.O started letting the gun off, I usually hated the sound of that SAW but this time I loved hearing it every fucking bullet that whipped out I was happy to hear my ears were still ringing and I think i was in some sort of shock because I didn't feel anything hurt during that point in time. Thats where I am going to stop at with this. Not because the ending was horrible and graphic but because I think if your still reading this you understand how this would cause nightmares, flashbacks, and a lot of other crap that sucks.

Chasing a Cure



If you read the summary above then you have probably figured out that I have severe ptsd and a few other issues that I have been working on like most of my brothers and sisters in the military service. So since Jan 2016 I've been volunteering for experimental treatments for ptsd, and I've looked far and wide for a cure, why am I doing this, isn't ptsd just a mental problem you can treat with medicine? <--- That question I've gotten quite a bit the answer is No it isn't a mental problem its the affect of your brain going into protection mode. While a lot of these cures and treatments made matters worse there was some information I was given lately that has helped me more than any pill has. The method of changing the channel, like the Television our brains can can stop looking at the memory for that point in time it takes time to learn this but its called changing the channel and or creating over lapping memories to basically place on top of the memories that cause some of these reactions. I know this sounds strange but I believe at this point this probably the closes I'll get to a cure, it does help well has so far. I have to be honest though in the past I've tried something or used something and at first it helped but then I'd need more or it wouldn't work. So I do in time hope that this non-medical method helps, but if it doesnt I'm not sure if its worth the time, effort and energy I've invested in finding this magical cure. So now I'm going to sum up the point of this Steemit post. What I've said above isn't meant to sound heroic, cool, scary, sympathetic, or any of that stuff its so I could let someone else see through my eyes a bit and this is also to serve to anyone not just soldiers but everyone with ptsd, nightmare and sleeping issues, depression and issues similar you aren't alone and though it can get dark just know there is ALWAYS light it may take time but keep pressing no matter what my friends.

To you the reader of this content Thank you for reading my post as I mentioned above I do appreciate you giving me the time of your day just to see what I have to say. Thanks. To Veterans, any branch of any service but especially The US Military I have the utmost love for you be safe and remember We Don't Quit stay safe.

 
 

 
 
 
 
 

Disclaimer The images above are not mine, they were located on Google Image Search on the website healthaim under recreational therapy for War veterans Stay safe and have a good one everybody.

life ptsd veteran war story
8 years ago by

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      ·  8 years ago 

    All I can say is , God bless you !!

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    3 votes
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

    Thank you @journeyoflife I always appreciate your response.

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      [-]
        ·  8 years ago (edited)

      again very deep topic from you
      it's a great tragedy without any doubt.
      it seems the main is to stay alive during thw war but the fact is after it you can be dead inside(
      i know one man after the war Afganistan..he is not ok till now.. he has no family and his soul is still ill(

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      [-]
        ·  8 years ago 

      Your starting to become one of the names I look for on my reply list. Thank you for reading this. @talikerch after certain things happened over their it definitely made me see things much differently and not because I wanted to but because I couldnt help it. I dont wish these demons on Anyone at all not even my worst enemy.

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      [-]
        ·  8 years ago (edited)

      oh, thank you for such warm words! I have just a couple of person who reply and comment me so I am always very glad to find somebody who doesn't ignore me) Steemit is so huge and many people feel lost here.
      your words have touched me now even more than your posts..
      I dont know exactly what you had in your life, it's very personal I understand, it doesn't matter any way, I had some event in life that changed me deeply as well. Now i rmember myself in past and it was just another girl, even my mom says she can't recognize me though I try to be the same, but..
      our life is our experience and its purpose and the main task is to have it and to understand fully, it is how I see and feel it. And we can influence our life with our thoughts and mood as well, so we must just keep it in mind. Do you agree?

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      [-]
        ·  8 years ago 

      Thank you for taking the problem and solution work head on. I can see how it would never be as simple as just a pill.

      My neighbor has found a ton of help in getting out in nature with his children. He goes camping and such, but also in doing mildly stimulative activities like paint ball. Just enough to get his adrenaline going, but with at least one adult with him to 'keep an eye' one him. The second time he did it he briefly had like a flashback moment but was able to push through with his friends help. The whole experience, both in being active with his children in nature, and the adrenaline activities have made a huge difference in his life.

      Thx

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      [-]
        ·  8 years ago 

      @public-eye I can definitely understand the struggles your neighbor has been through. I hope the best for him. I appreciate you taking time to check out my post. Thanks

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      [-]
        ·  8 years ago 

      Thank you, I will share your message with him!

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      [-]
        ·  8 years ago 

      Good post @carterx7 Do you know about the breakthrough research using MDMA + psychotherapy to treat PTSD with an incredible success rate? Check the work of maps.org You will be amazed.

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      [-]
        ·  8 years ago 

      @awakedev interesting but truthfully after all the drugs that have already been pumped in to me over this I'd much rather stay far away from anything involving MDMA with my luck I'd get hooked on to the MDMA part and use it as an escape tool.. Sadly it sounds messed up but its the truth.

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        [-]
          ·  8 years ago 

        @cartex7 I understand point, your are speaking from your personal experience. Don't take my word for it go to the site maps.org and read the results of the research they are conducting. It is really breakthrough in helping people, with a rate of success better than just psychotherapy alone. Doesn't hurt give a look :)

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          1 vote
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            ·  8 years ago 

          Interessing post thank you so much

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          [-]
            ·  8 years ago 

          thanks for sharing this

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          [-]
            ·  8 years ago 

          un tema muy instructivo vale

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              ·  8 years ago 

            This post has received a 40.00 % upvote from @lovejuice thanks to: @carterx7. They love you, so does Aggroed. Please be sure to vote for Witnesses at https://steemit.com/~witnesses.

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                ·  8 years ago 

              This wonderful post has received a bellyrub 4.04 % upvote from @bellyrub. Please make sure to vote for my pops as a witness @zeartul,Here

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                  ·  8 years ago 

                This post has received a 5.35 % upvote from @buildawhale thanks to: @carterx7. Send at least 1 SBD to @buildawhale with a post link in the memo field for a portion of the next vote.

                To support our daily curation initiative, please vote on my owner, @themarkymark, as a Steem Witness

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                  [-]
                    ·  8 years ago 

                  DQmPsPQLwrRkgj2NCJhX9NGAsUEEmaHKyRvDpxWPaaj5nUq.gif

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                    [-]
                      ·  8 years ago 

                    Thanks for you important post about a huge problem!
                    I would advice you to use the #health tag for more visibility!

                    I have seen a good movie with the problem about PTSD a few years ago - can't remember the name though. Can you help out here?

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                      [-]
                        ·  8 years ago (edited)

                      @theaustrianguy I dont watch movies with ptsd, I do recall hurt locker being a pretty decent war movie but then again i dont really watch war movies. When we as people experience severe trauma and then we accept it at least I myself know I try to avoid triggers (things that activate it) like the plague

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                        [-]
                          ·  8 years ago 

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                          [-]
                            ·  8 years ago 

                          Good post @carterx7.. I can say is , God bless you !!Thank you..

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                              ·  8 years ago 

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                              [-]
                                ·  8 years ago 

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