Tommy Baker, author of The New Life Project, believes that you should never put your dreams on hold. In his chapter "Obstacles and Limitations," he explains what to do if fear keeps you from reaching your goals. Lifehacker shares an excerpt from this chapter with permission from the publisher, MYTH.
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You often hold back. Something stops you from taking a big step. You feel it deep inside, even if you try not to notice it or numb the feeling.
People say ignorance is happy. Sometimes, it seems easier not to want more. Life’s passing by, and without those feelings, it might be less painful. Regret might not seem as strong. It’s tempting to ignore what’s happening behind the scenes and realize how much time you’ve lost.
In this chapter, we will look at what’s been holding you down. We’ll explore why these forces appeared in your life and what can happen if you give in. We’ll show how to turn these barriers into tools to help you.
You’ll learn how to change your view of fear so it works for you instead of against you. If you don’t, it will keep you stuck with your dreams locked away, waiting for a day that might never come.
Fear is a feeling we all know. We face it often. It is the strongest and most dangerous of negative feelings. It’s quiet but persistent and powerful. Fear wants to control us.
Fear makes us stay comfortable, play it safe, and stay quiet. It’s happy when we put our dreams aside. It’s the reason we keep waiting for tomorrow. Tomorrow sounds better, sunnier, and easier.
We tell ourselves we’ll start then. But when tomorrow arrives, fear shows up again with more reasons to delay. The cycle repeats.
Most of what you haven’t done so far is because of fear. It turns insights into vague memories. It keeps you from seeing your life’s true, meaningful vision. It stops you from talking to new people, missing chances to meet someone new.
It holds you back from starting a business because you think you need more research. It dismisses your recent wins, making you feel you could’ve done more.
Fear causes a long chain of problems. Sometimes, a small decision to avoid something closes many unknown doors. But fear isn’t all bad. Its strength can be used the right way.
What’s worse is how we react to fear. Instead of using it to help us, we let it crush our hopes and stop us from pursuing our dreams.
Let’s clear up some common ideas about fear. Understanding it can help you turn it into a guide and speed up your move to a new life.
Stop trying to completely get rid of fear
Many people believe that life without fear is best. But trying to erase fear too much can take away your power. It can make you weak and allow fear to control you.
Fear can be like an elephant in the room — big, obvious, but hard to ignore. Accepting this can give you strength. Fear is a normal part of life. It’s not the enemy. It’s a sign that you’re about to grow or change.
Instead of thinking fear is bad, see it as a warning or a guide. Use it to stay alert and focus on your goals. By doing this, you can turn fear into a tool that pushes you forward.