One step more

in thoughts •  6 years ago 

While I was at work today I got a message from my wife to say that she has graduated from the Bachelor degree she is doing which is great as it means she is one step closer to getting out of study. She still has a course and her thesis to do for her Master's degree to go so that hopefully she will graduate completely by May. When we met she said she had 2 years left of study, that was in 2011. Of course there have been a number of things that have come up along the way but I will be glad when she is done, as I am sure she will be too.

As I was saying the other day, I have been in Finland for 15 years and for about 13 of those I have been in relationships. All 13 of those years my partners have been students which has meant that for a large amount of time, it has been up to me to bring in enough of an income to cover two as the student support only goes so far, especially over the last years with a child as well.

What I am hoping is that once my wife fully graduates she will be able to find some decent employment (she has good contacts) and we will be a two income family. That in itself will feel like luxury in comparison and mean that for me, I can be a little more selective with the things that I have been doing and accepting as work. Over the last five years I have been running my business, no matter what condition I am in, I don't think I have had a day off due to illness as I don't get paid unless I work.

I definitely don't recommend it if one can possibly help it as it could quite quickly get out of hand and lead to various kinds of burnouts and issues if one is not prepared or suited for it. It was funny when my new boss told me the other day that if I have too many extra hours in lieu (flexi-time), she is going to force me to take days off so I don't burn out. I reminded her at the interview that whatever happens, she is going to have a tough time burning me out.

However, while I may not be forced into stress leave, it is very difficult to perform well consistently when there are so many things going on work-wise as well as constant family pressures. At times it is possible that a perfect storm of issues arrive that spreads resources and stretches them to their limits, I ma yet to reach the absolute though.

In the moments I allow myself to imagine the opposing scenario where instead of the storm, there is the perfect day it would be a point where my daughter is healthy, my wife has graduated and has a job she enjoys, my work volume is challenging but not unreasonable and of course, Steem prices have increased to the point that I am able to comfortably post and earn well from curation to keep growing my account and reward others.

Dreams.

Of course, none of that is so far out of the realms of possibility and in my view, we are heading toward it. The work we do for our daughter's health is slowly improving her allergies, my wife has the space to keep studying without having to work, I am learning more each day to improve my working fitness and Steem is well... one day Steem could do something.

For now though, it is keep grinding away and creeping along the path one step at a time toward a life that we want to live, one where there is possibility to do more of what we enjoy and less of what we are forced to do by circumstance. No one really knows what the future will hold for any one of us but I am one of those people that believes we can influence it and we all have the chance to create a better life for ourselves and others also. Regardless, I am not going to stop stepping.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]

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I don't think you are asking for too much and hope that one day stars will align in your favor.

If they align for me, they will align for many more too. Wouldn't it be awesome to have 10,000 Steem millionaires ? :D

Indeed.

Yes that would be great, only 17.2 years to go :)

Life is a struggle, but a day will come when we will eat the fruits of our labours if we work at it. You seem to be working at it, so good luck @tarazkp.

Congrats to your Wife getting one step closer to finishing up her schooling. Graduation in May will be a very big day for her knowing she has accomplished her mission.

Know the feeling of being an sole income earner and the weight of this. It's not easy.

My Wife has been a stay at home Mom now for about 8 years and had a break for a while with the first also. This was by choice, but the missed income does hurt. We cut back on things to allow for this as it was important to us that we raised our kids, not daycare workers. Now the kids are at ages they are becoming self sufficient and my Wife is talking about maybe getting a job again. If she does the income will be nice, but we will stick it 100% into savings to start with. Don't want to become reliant on that income and would rather use it to make a better tomorrow.

My Wife has been a stay at home Mom now for about 8 years and had a break for a while with the first also.

It definitely has an impact on many parts of life.

We cut back on things to allow for this as it was important to us that we raised our kids, not daycare workers.

We have been together for years and nearly always been on a trimmed income. We have been okay but it will be a new experience to have two full incomes coming in.

Don't want to become reliant on that income and would rather use it to make a better tomorrow.

Yep, I think this is the way to go. Too many expand their life at the same rate as their income flows in. Every payrise disappears.

Too many expand their life at the same rate as their income flows in. Every payrise disappears.

Or in the American way, they expand beyond each pay raise and increase their debt load that much more. Then they wonder why come retirement they have nothing or why when a big expense comes along they can't find a way to pay for it, or worse why they end up loosing everything if one of them looses their job and can't find one.

The way we live if there wasn't a penny of income I can survive for 4 months currently. This was down to a low of 30 days right after paying for my boiler ($13k...ouch), but have rebuilt the cushion. I'd like to get it back up to 6 months but that will take some time as the holiday rush is over. This is purely liquid funds that are at zero market risk. This then allows me to not worry about investments daily movements. Much easier when you aren't playing with the money you need for bills.

Congratulations with your wife! Think you guys will celebrate tonight 🥂🎉?

All the rest crossing y fingers that all your dreams come true🤞

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Celebrate? Nothing changes yet. :)

Hehe I always learned to celebrate your successes😎

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It all takes planning, time, patience...and a bit of luck or blessing along the way. In the meantime enjoy the journey and grow from it. Thanks @tarazkp

Lots of growing, looking for a bit of luck :)

Small steps and periodic successes are great to motivate you towards your goals. It demonstrates resilience and will feel great when finally realized. The important thing is to never stop grinding as comfort zones will knock you back down if you let them. Congrats to both as it is always a team effort!

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Small steps and periodic successes are great to motivate you towards your goals.

This is why I am hoping for some more gamification on a front-end.

The important thing is to never stop grinding as comfort zones will knock you back down if you let them.

This has happened way too often in my life. The last 5 years I have been trying to forget and relearn the 35 years before it.

  ·  6 years ago (edited)

One step at a time. I love it. Sometimes I want everything at once, like crypto market bull run, being able to play the organ in 12 different countries a year, my wife being healthy, my Secrets of Organ Playing business growing and me not having to take the crap from my bosses but I forget that in the end we sooner or later all are going to die.

So the only thing that is worth clinging to is peace of mind and knowing that one is doing the right thing in each moment one step at a time.

So the only thing that is worth clinging to is peace of mind and knowing that one is doing the right thing in each moment one step at a time.

This is the truth of it and why if there is a god or no god, actions don't change, always do the best one can.

Congratulations on the graduating and the Masters. This is Hugh and a long time in comming. May will be a grand month and a relief.
One step closer . Again congratulations

May is going to be great if we make it :D

LOL. 4 months
You will make it.
A lot has to be accomplished in the 4 months. Doors will open creating more opportunities along with there challenges. Never ending cycle

Never ending cycle

Gives me something to do ;)

Storms is the new Dreams, man :-)

When we met she said she had 2 years left of study, that was in 2011.

Haha, that reminds me of something :-)

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Storms is the new Dreams, man :-)

Nothing wrong with the storms, I just want to be a better sailor :D

I prefer imagining and working towards perfect days rather than perfect storms (though my ideas of “perfect storms” are probably “challenging”/impossible to come back from and honestly I’m not as prepared as I should be for absolute worst case scenario 😐)

Kinda cranky that I can’t make things go the way I wanted faster as I would have liked the kids to have still been young enough to enjoy my perfect lifestyle rather than being half arse there when they’re already half grown (but at least we’re still having fun on the way).

Glad to hear small’s allergies are getting better 😄 hope your wife blunders into the most amazing and fulfilling job ever after graduating and the double income vastly eases the financial pressure (and the benefits aren’t completely wiped out by tax 😖).

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and honestly I’m not as prepared as I should be for absolute worst case scenario

Mentally I am okay, physically not.

I would have liked the kids to have still been young enough to enjoy my perfect lifestyle rather than being half arse there when they’re already half grown

yeah, I am hoping that I can do something soon-ish..

hope your wife blunders into the most amazing and fulfilling job ever after graduating and the double income vastly eases the financial pressure

She has decent contacts and is getting more through her thesis work so fingers crossed.

(and the benefits aren’t completely wiped out by tax 😖).

Finland, the land of taxes....

I feel yah man.. My gf has been in in school for about 10 years and will complete her second degree but with some switches in Majors could have the equivalent of 3+ degrees now..

it's all money outflow and that is tough..

Yeah, it is crazy how long this has taken, something like 17 years (with some breaks) :D

Soon the payoff...

i think for me too.. She'll be the breadwinner and I'll move to being the house-husband :D

i love those part in dream .. one day steem wil do something . amen

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It seems to me very realistic but, at the same time, promising his vision of life, despite the circumstances, @tarazkp. A personal life story with interesting reflections. I believe that the possibilities he presents are based and can be perfectly achieved. We are all exposed to circumstances that can be transformed for the better. Good luck!

I understand you completely. And it's brave from you that you are so supporting to your wife. Wish you luck!

out of curiosity, what happened to your rep?

I got gang raped by whales because they don't share my views. I'm trying to recover.

Haejin and his gang ranchorelaxo, starjuno, then inertia and some STINC bullies nailed my rep to the ground. It's kind of ridiculous. They drove off lots of good content creators with their behavior and they contributing to making Steem a ghost town. Which is kind of ironic because that also decreases Steem blockchain value and STEEM price.

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