The Annoying Relative

Relatives! The mention of that word sometimes
comes with a chill in the spine and at other occasions is a reason for joy.

Considering our culture in Nigeria, the extended family is an integral part of it. Thus there is no need to run away from them.

When they visit or you do so, it could be a cause for worry since some events might take place which you may not like, especially when these relatives are older than you.

That is the case with me. I have my own chunk of such negative experience while growing up.

This contest will provide the basis for explaining more on this. The topic is The Annoying Relative

Do you see it as a burden or an added advantage when your relatives visits you?

Back then in the days when I was a child, we don't have much relatives visiting us but I do visit my grandparents. I usually do so with my parents. It was fun when it is just I, my siblings and parents. Do you know why? I have less work to do and have enough time to play. But when other uncles and aunt comes too, it becomes a burden for me. Why? My dad was the only person married in his family with children as at then. So most of the chores in the house were left for we children to do, while they will be busy chatting and enjoying themselves. Being the second child in the family, I carry out most errands. When you don't do it well or the way they expect, you will become the topic for discussion within them. They will start preaching to you. It was not funny at all. A vacation you intend to enjoy will now become a nightmare and you wil be praying for them to leave or that our family should cut the vacation short and go back to our base.

So if the visit was just my family and grandparents, I really enjoy it.

Is there a relative you find to be very annoying that you detest his or her presence in your house?

I don't have any particularly relative that I detest his presence in my house. But I prefer it always being a short visit, like a day or two, unless the relative is a fellow young one like me. Many times when they ( older relatives) complain, I will just say let us see how their own child will do when they get married.

Unfortunately, when they finally have children, their kids would not be disturbed to do those things we used to do at their age. It is then they will recognize that they are still small. But during our time, it is termed to be laziness or lack of respect.

source

Share your experience with this relative of yours.

I still remember one of the times an uncle visited us. He stays far away from us. We are always looking forward to his visit. On that particular visit, he came around and started discussing with us. He showed me the shirts and singlets he got for me and then told me that he will not give it me because of not carrying out certain tasks at home. I thought it was a joke but it wasn't. At the end of his stay, he went back to his base with those items. I was devastated and shocked beyond belief. I never imagined such a thing would happen since I also know things I helped prepare, that he will go back with. It really left mark on me.

Is it possible for one's relatives to divide one's home? Explain

Yes, it is very very possible. This happens when a member of the family believes the visiting relative more than his family members.

I have seen a relative (woman) telling the brother and husband to another woman bad things about his wife. Like your wife cheats behind your back, she does not keep the house well, every where is dirty, she does not know how to train your children, she does not cook well etc. If she is close to her brother, the brother will believe her and start demanding unnecessarily from his wife. This could now lead to disrupting the family peace.

Once the wife finds out that the change in her husbands character was as a result of what the husband's sister told him, that is the beginning of an unending problem in the family which would extend beyond the nuclear to other extended family members.

So it is always advisable to be careful of what you say about a family member when visiting them to avoid intentionally or unintentionally destroying the household.

Conclusion

Having grown now and have a family of my own, I ensure that my children will not experience the same thing I passed through. I ensure that only well-meaning relatives visits us. If I perceive any action or word intended to bring them down, I will not allow it.

I rather prefer discussing it with me as their parent since I know how best to manage and handle their excesses than you do.

Additionally, I don't allow random visiting from relatives. I must be informed ahead of time and the entire family will agree on that, before allowing the person to come.

If the visit was unplanned, the relative can only stay for a few days and leave.