Today, dealing with the loss of loved ones is harder than ever before. About a hundred years ago, death was much more visible. People mourned for a long time, and the coffin with the dead was often carried around the city in an open carriage.
It was common to prepare for death ahead of time. Many still remember how grandparents would gather their clothes in preparation.
Modern culture tends to hide the topic of death. It is either kept out of sight or shown in a fake way in movies. Because of this, even expected losses can catch us off guard. People often don’t know how to handle their grief.
This article will explore some basic “rules” of grieving. It aims to show how to survive loss with as little pain as possible and find the strength to move forward.
Grief is a natural response to losing someone we love. However, similar feelings can happen with other big life changes too. Losing a limb, moving to a new country, retiring, losing a job, or going through a divorce can all cause grief. In each case, we lose part of our identity and need to rebuild it.
People who are grieving may feel intense anger, guilt, sadness, or melancholy. Sometimes, they also feel numb emotionally. Contrary to the popular idea of five stages of grief— denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—emotions can come in any order. They can switch back and forth and overlap.
There is no single way to grieve. Most people feel the worst during the first six months. The entire process typically takes around two years. But this can vary, and that’s okay.
Sometimes grief can seem like depression. It’s hard to tell the difference. Grief tends to come in waves, and feelings change often. Depression, on the other hand, makes a person feel consistently down. People grieving can still see themselves positively. Someone with depression usually does not.
Psychologists talk about “grief work.” It means living your life as normally as possible while going through grief. Even if you don’t do anything special, grief often runs its course. Eventually, it ends, and a new stage of life begins.
People in grief often experience emotional highs and lows. Sometimes, things seem almost normal. Other times, the pain feels unbearable. During those tough moments, many try to distract themselves. They might avoid feeling anything at all. Some binge-watch TV, drink alcohol, or work until they’re exhausted.
While these distractions may help briefly, they usually make things worse over time. Trying to suppress emotions only makes feelings come back stronger. To move forward, you need to face your emotions.